October 2nd, 2008

We sat in the front of the jeep we rode home in the other day. Sister Victorino was watching as he worked the clutch and asked me to explain it all. And, I got to thinking about driving. Especially from your last letter all about selling my car. Funny how I really have SO many memories attached to that car. I wish I could be there to drive for you all those miles because I kind of miss driving. But, my day will come again. For now I'm a passenger in the most interesting of transportation methods. Although, I'm not sure this makes me as healthy as I should be and am excited to start regular exercise again (very difficulthere, haha). So you don't plan to every do any remodeling to the house? I feel like that will change but who knows? I am sorry I didn't do a better job of packing up all my things in the office for you. I think all of my "things" are in that office. I guess there are the boxes in the barn. It willbe fun to go through it all when I come back and figure out what to throw out, what to pack and what to take again to college or wherever I go. So were John and Felicia busy with school so they didn't come to the blessing? What are they all up to these days? I don't seem to hear a lot about the younger generation.Grandma Lois also, I think your mention of seeing her at the temple was also the first I've heard about them in a while. Well, be sure to tell everyone hello from me even if they aren't really getting letters -- I expect whoever really wants to is looking at that blog site, I don't know if it's been updated at all but from almost every letter I get someone mentions looking at it so it makes me feel less bad that I don't write to many people unless I get a letter from them :) Speaking of Aunt Terry the new graduate -- and Gabby being all grown up, how are Becca and Kate also? And uncle Shawn? Hmmm, anyway, I like news about the family even if it's only a little bit. Some sister’s skirts are just a little too short in my opinion. I prefer a little bit longer than too short especially because it's hard to sit comfortable especially when traveling. As for blouses, a collar is not mandatory. It just needs to be nice and it's not supposed to be TOO flashy or too informal. The idea -- the focus is not on our clothing but we need to also look nice, basicallythat's it. I've been through the process of having almost everything I brought with me altered, shorter sleeves, to fit better because I lost weight or it was just baggy and long etc. and bought a couple more short sleeved shirts while here like the one you mentioned with the cream tie. If you could send me some more simple headbands, black also... that would be nice because I wear a headband almostevery single day and braid the rest of my hair -- it's all I can do :) As for my skin... it's just as annoying as ever but the pictures do seem to not show it off very well which is nice. This week I've had a particularly sensitive skin week :) Most of the American's I've seen/talked to say their skin doesn't like it here either. We've all broken out at times then gotten better, etc. just because of the pollution and the heat and sweat. It pulls the gunk out of the pores because of the humidity anyway this is a bit long for talking about skin and as for my soap, I use whatever I can find. I'm not sure what will happen with this but my old companion Sister Mabalot and sister Abad are now companions and they both asked me the other day how hard it would be to have you send them some garments from America because here they only sell one kind and they both really like mine, the dry silk tops and the caranessa bottoms. Maybe you can just tell me what you think about that or how hard it would be. I expect they would just pay me in pesos and so you'd never get any extra money for it. I'd just get some cash :) haha. If the package really does only take six days I will get it at zone conference which is October 6th or something like that. But, last time it clearly took longer so I won't be looking forward to it :) I got a letter from Shaela and Jake is going on a mission. That's exciting. I also heard from Andrea and Heidi is getting married in December. Maybe I told you that last week. As for actual gifts for Christmas and my birthday I can think of nothing in particular and already count the money I use on the card as my gifts even though the money on the card is actually food. That's because I use my cash to buy things like material to have a skirt sewn. I also use it to print pictures and send expensive letters because my allowance money doesn't fit for that either and dad said to keep printing pictures so that's what I'm doing. So, I printed the pictures from Sherwin's baptism and will write a letter later today about it. We had a super busy week with travel to Lucena and service projects because in the Philippines it was Family Week. We visited the jail and the children's center. I'll probably write more about that also. I can't believe September is over and neither can my companion. October seems like it will go fast also because we have Zone Conference, General Conference, Stake Conference and then another transfer. And, we're not sure if I'll be transferred now or next time but likely one of them since she'll need to train someone new before she goes home in January. Well, good luck with all the parties coming up and keep me updated. Tell everyone hello and that's about it for now. Love, Brit.

August 30th, 2008

“Lilipat Kayo!” That means you will move again -- the subject that is. I'm pretty impressed with myself, I will have been interviewed, set apart and now released by different stake presidents. I'm pretty sad that my poor car will be gone, lots of memories (thinking -- pondering -- done) and does that mean Savanna has actually taken my advice and decided to live in Provo with me? I bought some material today with the card so I can have our ward mission leader make me some skirts and pants -- if he does a good job I might do more because the material is SO cheap to buy here and they custom sew it! Anyway I'm pretty excited all the Elders have reallyfancy pants sewn for them so I figure I can get in with the action and get myself some good clothes -- some of my skirts are already starting to look a little shabbyfrom sitting in dirt and riding in trikes etc. What's funny is we are emailing super late so you probably didn't need to rush to get the mails off to me. I'm pretty anxious to hear more about how all this moving will go (and my things sitting there on that book shelf of mine, posters journals etc. I'm really sorry now I didn't pack them up better for you but yes please be nice to them :) it sounds like dad is moving up there to work before everyone else and funny as it is I actually had that very thought about buying Grandma and Grandpa's old house and it would be extremely funny -- going back to your roots! I want to hear how everyone is feeling about it, when will everyone else move, I guess that depends on when you get a house? I feel like I don't have much to say -- I wrote letters to the girls earlier and from what I wrote last week in emails and letters that you should be getting there just isn't much else. Mostly I have questions now but I guess I'llfind out at transfers (because that's the next time I will get mail from all of you). Transfers are September 12th now and I expect we will have one still but even if we don't those who go to transfers will bring back our mail. Last time they brought us mail it was my smallest amount yet, only one and from mom – Mom always pulls through for me :) I was also thinking about BYU -- I'm missing the reign of Max Hall, what a shame :) I was there for two amazing triumphs over Utah though so I'm pretty sure I can't complain. I mentioned BYU football starting at our last district meeting, last Wednesday and Elder Collins was pretty happy for me, that I like Football that is. Do you know who you plan to vote for? Maybe someone who can help the gas prices go down (do presidents have those powers?) They are high here also which means it costs us more to ride trikes and jeeps/busses if we travel far. The president here is a woman. I have noticed that women in the Philippines often take one the strong position while men are more easy going; they have a lot of female leadersand often their leaders are also actresses and actors. The most recent Philippines "myth" that I won't listen to is that if I wash my face at night I will go blind/get blurred vision -- I already can't shower at night ever without getting in trouble, I'm not going to stop washingmy face , haha. I will be working with Sister Abad tomorrow, we are doing an exchange which they allow once a transfer. Sister Abad is my same batch to go home and Sister Odo, my current companion, trained her. Sister Matapule is from Tonga and is a go home batch with Sister Odo so they want to work together also -- exchanges and zone conferences etc. are always a nice change of pace and to learn something from the way others do things. Alaiza was baptized Sunday. I don't know how much I've said about Alaiza. I will write more later I think but we've been teaching her the entire time I've been here. She is Olivia's age almost exactly and comes to church alone every week -- although her parents are members they aren't active at all. We had the baptism all ready and no here still so we went up to her house and she was not ready at all and didn't say much to us just looked at us with sad eyes kind of and went and changed then came back crying. Her father had gone to look for people to drive around, he's a driver and that's his work, her mother was washing clothes and wasn't going to come because she's ashamed to go to church or something -- they aren't much support to her and she was very upset she really wanted them to come. Her mother followed us there after waiting and we did the baptism. Michael baptized her. He is a recent convert, one year now I think and often helps us. He is the only member of his family also and wants to serve a mission but is a bit older now for boys and doesn't have much money to do it so he's frustrated. He did such a good job, he'd memorized it all perfect and I just felt really peaceful and calm, like a clarity of happiness as I watched and then I realized that feeling was the spirit now present and that's when my heart sped up a bit and tears came to my eyes for only a moment. The feelings of the spirit were the pure happiness the clarity of thought and the calmness throughout my body but recognizing that it was the spirit brought the rush; it was an interesting realization of how the spirit feels to me. Alaiza shared her testimony after and cried -- and so did her mother. She said she knows this is the church that will help her make her life better and it's Christ's Church and he lives. Well -- that's all for now I'll write again next week. Love - Britney

August 24th, 2008

Hi Family… So, I’m doing what you told me to and typing this in word so I can just paste it later. I can look at the pictures but this computer likes to shut everythingdown as I do so, thus going through all of your letters plus the ones I didn’t get last week before checking has taken up a lot of my time. Everyone looks pretty fancy and ready for school and Savanna’s bangs are fabulous… I never figured out the bangs thing…they were always so cute on other people and I just couldn’t get the hair-do thing right for myself. Right now my hair is just long and funny layers and I braid it every day. I probably will need to get it trimmed at least before another year is over but I’m kind of afraid to for some reason, haha. My honest reaction when I first read about the possible move was to cry – probably out of habit since that’s what I did every other time. Maybe out of empathy for Garyn who it sounds like took it hardest, since I fully understand what she’s going through. By the time you read this you may have made a decision but whatever happens assure her that she’ll live through it and something good will come from everything. I could have done a lot better at that. Of course, I could have done a lot better at a lot of things as is the truth with all of us. I don’t feel like I’ve given so little detail about this area as your emails make it sound like. Maybe, like you mentioned about getting used to your surroundings, thePhilippines in general are more familiar to me and so I don’t feel there is as much to say or I don’t notice it. I don’t know, I guess I don’t know exactly what you want me to describe or say about it. Also, we’re not supposed to go into detail in our letters about struggles per-say so maybe I’ve been “distant” in my letters because this area has been a struggle. Of course, you know that because I did mention it slightly. I feel like I’m realizing a lot of things I never knew before or that I used to think were one way and they just aren’t. For instance, learning a new language. I was grateful for something Luke said in his last letter to me about how he learned the language, about how before you do it you feel like it’s either you don’t know it or you’re fluent but it’s more gradient and you hardly notice it. And, then he mentioned things he had to do like writing down words he didn’t know and rephrasing things back to people and then he said, “And I had to do it my whole mission.” My grammar is terrible, my vocabulary is lacking but I can communicate and I can share my testimony and I can understand basically what people are expressing when they talk. I gave a talk yesterday in Sacrament meeting. The last time I gave a talk was when I was not quite three months into the field, right now I’m not quite five, and I had just come to this area. The talk was pretty short and shaky but I only said one thing in English, and it was after I said it in Tagalog first. The second counselor told me after that my Tagalog has really improved. That’s about all I can go off of. I have at least improved while here. Something I’m learning much more acutely right now is how destructive it is to say anything bad or destructive about anyone else. As I was pondering this idea and some of the examples of that I’ve encountered I read the beginning of Alma. You just finished it and I just started it. In Alma 4-5 the people of God have just finished a battle in which they should have lost but they used the strength of the Lord and thus they won. And yet, they still had many losses once peace was restored and had great cause to lament. However, what happened is that their losses woke them up to their need to continue establishing the church and after this, many more were baptized. They were already God’s people and he even helped them through the battle. But, it was because of the battle and their losses that they were able to further establish the Church, we can never sit still or think the word is done even if we’re already members, already active, already being good and being supported by God. We need more baptisms. These same people one chapter later in five begin to be prideful, as you know is the cycle, and what it says is that they began to scorn those in the church and persecute those that were not. And thus, the wickedness of the people of God became a stumbling block for those who were not me members yet. They destroyed themselves from within and then there was no place for those outside to come unto. Thus, nobody became members and the Church was destroyed. I felt that this was exactly the time I needed to read this chapter to fully press upon my mind and soul how the Book of Mormon teaches truths that continue to occur in our day. I’m seeing that happen right now and am caused to ponder on how to turn it around and help others develop love for one another, and caused to remember times where I may not have been the perfect example of doing this myself. I am going through a very repentant time. As I am forced to seek comfort from the only sources left possible to me, prayer and scriptures, I have remembered my own sins from the past which I never truly sorrowed over even if I left them behind to some degree. It is a time for me to change so that when I return and no longer live the missionary lifestyle I will not do again those things I simply shouldn’t. So often we repeat our own mistakes over and over. The other night was a night for cockroaches. They were huge. They were as big as a small mouse or even a good medium sized mouse. Maybe it was because it rained a ton the other day but suddenly all the cockroaches were in our apartment and I was running around spraying them with our pemethrrin. It’s way too disgusting to me to smash them but Sis. Odo is just fine with it Haha, she smashes them all. They started eating her notebooks the other day so she was pretty mad. I have this fear that my journals or notebooks or whatever will be destroyed at some point in my mission – it’s highly possible actually so I think I might try to find a way to send some things home at some point. Well, back to the whole moving thing and trying to decide about a job. I didn’t touch on that much before but this brings me back to it. I also considered that you’ll have to move all of my things, particularly my not really packed all over the place and covered with a blanket things that are in the office. That’s not the most thrilling idea to me but far from being a reason not to accept a good job. Just a random thought. Don’t be mad at me for it, Haha. You have been very prominent in my prayers, particularlyabout decisions for a job and so I know that whatever you are supposed to do you will be helped in doing it. It will be a bit of a longer drive to get home from school and I am sad there are no mountains in Idaho. As you can see a lot of my reasons are not so important. I have full confidence in you and am glad we have the example of great leaders who have gone through life and been men and women of God through it all like President Eyring. Our attachments should be to what God’s will is for us and not to our homes or wards or schools etc. Consider a mission president. Well, President Anderson and Sister Anderson sold their home of twenty plus years with its beautiful yard and many memories. Sister Anderson recently told me that she’d just redone her kitchen and that it was sad for her to leave it but they sold it and made themselves a path to which they can serve God better and they left their 30 grandchildren and came to live in the Philippines with all its troubles and discomforts so they could grow closer to God and come to love those that are hardest to love. And so that they could become more unified in all they do as a couple. Those are some of the great things I’ve heard about couple missionaries and they truly sacrifice everything. Then there is President and sister Uchtdorf and they had to move from their own country and leave their family in Germany as they spend their life in service. We are called upon to sacrifice all and our leaders do that. So, I wrote about the things from my email last week in some of the letters I sent but I’ll try to repeat some of them here to give you some substance and especially since my main letter last week I sent to Savanna. I was attacked by a monkey. We have this contest going one between Elder Cheney, Sister Hill and myself. Elder Cheney so far gets best disease, mumps. Sister Hill gets best package, her parents sent her a full sized toilet seat! I get best attack by an animal. We were walking under this doorway after a lesson to someone we had tracted and suddenly I had some pretty intense pain on the top of my head. I was wearing the head band that Aunt Jenny made me and I guess the Monkey that was swinging up above the door liked it as much as I do so he swung down and grabbed it along with a lot of my hair and then swung up and yanked it all – array! (which means OUCH!) I fell on the ground out of shock and pain and I think someone from behind untangled the monkey’shands and retrieved my headband – bad monkey. It was quick and surprising and I stood up fast and started to laugh because the people we had just taught looked so ashamed. We also had zone conference and Elder Teh and his wife came. They are from the Philippines and he is a member of the seventy. After lunch they asked me to go play some prelude. I started to play and then the Elders started to push the huge white board back behind me and the piano so I scooted forward for them on the little bench I was sitting on and it collapsed! I was underneath the keyboard in my skirt with the elders staring down at me. I tried to push my way out. They kept staring and finally Elder Teh came over and helped me up – Haha. The best part was I didn’tfeel embarrassed at all – I must be really humble now I have no pride to lose, Haha. Well, afterwards he chose some people to interview. I think I mentioned this in myletter in more depth. All three Americans from my district were interviewed and Elder Bench was sure we were getting sent home. It was more like a good chat than an interview to me and I became strangely shy. He asked about family and plans for after my mission and schooling etc. and I was surprised both at what I told him and about his very sincere support of all my unrealized dreams. He also mentioned that his mission was the best for him and mine will be for me. Others have said this also but it’s good to hear it over and over again. We don’t always realize the importance of something within it and maybe I won’t know exactly why this was the mission for me for years but I want nothing more than to do what I’m supposed to. Well, our time is quite up and I haven’t really finished writing about all I would like to but still have a hand written letter to finish so you’ll have to be patient with me. Good luck with school everyone. I love you all, bye.

Brit's address!

Britney loves to receive mail as does any missionary. I just realized that we have never posted her address to eliminate your potential excuses for not writing her! Sorry.

Sister Britney Landrum
San Pablo Philippines mission
Brgy San Juan
Alimino Laguna 4001
Box 38
Philippines

Write to her often!

August 10 Email

Hello Family - So the internet died here at this place and we are waiting for it to start working again. I decided that while I was waiting I would open up this notepad and type your letter so I can paste it later. We are in Lucena because the AP's called us and said they were going to come here for an activity. Lucena is about an hours jeep ride from Lucban but we went...and then they weren't here and we don't know the way to where they went so we're just here in Lucena where it is much hotter than Lucban although not that much further away. My area is one of the coldest places in our mission they say -- that's a blessingsome days :) The week has gone well for the most part. We have a mission tour right now so our six week regular schedule is kind of messed up and we're having zone conference all over again, thus I'll be driving to Lucena again tomorrow night and waking up early Wednesday for Zone conference with Elder Teh of the seventy who is coming to speak to us and our emails from the mission for the last couple of weeks have been wear your best, come and be quiet, don't bring cameras etc." haha...we also just had zone interviews last week so we were in Lucena. Zone interviews were really good for me. Getting to talk to president was a good thing and helped relieve me of some of my concerns. I was definitely not enjoying being accountable for the work we were/weren't doing and it was giving me a kind of anxious attitude. I feel bad for president and Sister Anderson, they have a lot of adjustments to make and I think President is trying to fix everything he doesn't like about how the mission is going with the zeal of someone new but he said himself in my interview that Sister Anderson told him, "you can't just change them, so accept them." How true is that sometimes? As for not mentioning people by name all the time, that probably has in part to do with the lack of names to mention, it's true, but besides that I don't know why I haven't. Kalvin is one of our investigators -- we both discussed the other day the fact that we truly believe he will be a member of the Church one day but we don't know how far in the future that will be. Even Brigham Young took years before he decided he was going to join the church and he became prophet so I have hope and pray for him every day. Kalvin stretches my language abilities. I'm sure I've mentioned this to you somewhere. Maybe in a hand written letter or in an email but I want to explain to him and understand him so much that I have to stretch my vocabulary. Our ward mission leader is Kuya Eddy.... Kuya is a word they use here that means older brother and Ate is for older sister (and the pronunciation is not like the word for eating but a softer A at the beginning like ah-te) but you attach it to peoples names all the time basically so anyway Kuya Eddy Sews for a living and right now they are close to festival in Lucban so he has a lot of work to do. He is our ward mission leader but he's going through a tough time right now. He diligently comes to church still and teaches the new member/investigator class. We went to his sewing shop in the evening after church where he was sewing -- Sister Odo was talking to him in a somewhat joking but serious manner about keeping the Sabbath day holy. He chuckled a bit and seemed exasperated-- he wants time to read more, to do what he should and improve in the gospel but he's overwhelmed and he said to us "this is a blessing from God, I have so much work now I need to do it and make sure these customers come back" he works over time, he sleeps there sometimes instead of at their house and wakes up in the middle of the night to keep sewing -- reminds me of someone else who works overtime and sleeps over :) As Sister Odo was talking with him he finally looked over at me and said "What do you have to say" and all I could think was that sometimes God gives us the desires of our hearts or the things we ask for etc. and blessings and those same blessings become obstacles to our own happiness. It says that in the scriptures, that God will grant unto us what we want if we seek after that rather than what He wants for us and although we will see it as a blessing and a prayer granted at first it will become for us a stumbling block so we must be mindful of that and humble ourselves before we are made to be humble. I was also impressed by the article about Elder Eyring’s life and the strong impression he was given one night after his wife brought up "is this really what you should be doing with your life?" and he was quite happy and successful where he was -- the thought came "never take another job without coming to me first" and he knew there were many jobs in his past that he did not ask theLord about but decided fully on his own wisdom and no council from the Lord. Soon after he was called by people from Salt Lake to take up a job which lead him eventuallyto Rexburg and then to being an apostle -- a life of service and as much as it may have seemed like he was sacrificing he knew he wasn't and this was God's will for him and his life has been greatly blessed. I hope, Dad, that the desires of your heart will be fulfilled, but most that you will know the desires of God because I know they are far greater and you have somany talents and have helped so many people already that there is surely a path meant for you where you can continue to do that. I was also thinking with Brother Eddy about how sometimes we are meant to learn to sacrifice -- if blessings always came immediately would we ever learn the greater joy of sacrifice? I know that as parents you have learned sacrifice, I know that I'm learning more what sacrifice is now and it comes in many forms and it is a great covenant that we made to sacrifice all we have as Christ did, all to the will of the Father so that he might make more of our lives, give us greater joy, expand our vision and build up friends (that last part is a portion of a quote from someone, Benson I think, and thus it has authority more than my own words :) I know this is true. As for the card -- it is a pin problem, but not really. At the MTC the ATM told me my pin was wrong so I called in to the bank and used that same pin and it worked, they told me it was right and thus I still don't know what the problem is because I have no other pin to use and the bank said I'm using the right one but the ATM doesn't care! Haha...as for the 400 I don't know what they do with that they put it in with all the mission money. I think the money you pay for the entire time will cover my plane tickets and not much more, the Church pays for a lot and thus we are given an allowance in accordance with what they think we can live off of and we can use it for food, electricity, shampoo etc., and transportation and sending letters to family -- if we run out that's our own fault :) haha it works well but if I want to buy souvenirs, clothes, have clothes repaired, print pictures etc. I have to use my own money. Wouldn't McKaylee have been 19? I thought she was two years younger than me? It is interesting how that works, I always wondered what it would have been like to have someone closer and I'm strangely excited to return andhave Savanna by quality of graduation be "closer" because you're basically the same age from 18-28 when in college and there are the 18 year olds that act mature and the 28 year olds that don't and vice versa... then you get married(some do) and that makes you grow up hopefully no matter who you are and thus in college you're all in the same pool :) I have run out of time -- I plan to send at least mom a good reply to her last couple of hand written letters and I promise to get to Savanna and you dad another time if I don't know. You'll be getting a letter from me with only pictures and a page of explanations so don't get too excited and then a good letter will come -- I just need to steal away the time to do it! Thanks for the emails and your testimonies and great examples to me – I love you all Brit

August 3rd

Pala is a word that simply expresses surprise, kind of. There seem to be a lot of words like that in this language. I keep trying to think of words in English that do the same kind of thing, and don't have an exact translation. But, I can't think in English very well right now. Yesterday, Sunday, I went with two of the older sisters in our ward to teach the visiting teaching lesson to some less active sisters. The lesson was about our divine qualities as daughters of God and two of the five we taught to ended up in tears with the rest of us... I really felt the spirit with those sisters and felt like it was easier to teach in Tagalog than it had been all week. My health seems to be mostly better now... it went from being a strange head ache and fever to being a stomach issue with some LBM and now I am off the soda (hoorayfor a good excuse) and only eat very little but more frequently if possible... that seems to help the most. If it doesn't keep getting better I might have to go see a doctor, but hopefully I just got some bug and now I'm getting it out of my system. Thanks for the stories, some of which I remember slightly and others not so much. It's too bad more people can't try to look for the good in people always, if we were all striving to do that more often and not think of ourselves at all the world would be a lot better place, but we all tend to take time to think of ourselves and see bad in others. We all have that bad to notice also... but we all inherently have divine qualities also that are just in an infantile state (as it says in the visiting teaching lesson) so that potential needs time to grow up and we can't be the cause for someone’s lack of growth -- no stunting of spiritual growth :) I want to be very focused on our work, I want to do my very best and find all the people hat need to hear us right now even if right now is not their time to be baptized maybe in ten years it is but they need to hear it from me now... but in my concern for that and my concern for our lack of doing that sometimes I had the thought come to me that my companion needs to be saved just as much. There are enough returned missionaries here in the Philippines that go inactive that I should be very aware of her spirituality and how to love her no matter what -- easier said than done when I already think I've done a good job of not losing my temper like I might have not very many years ago... even when she does. I see in her a lot of things I know I used to do and still fight against (and now I feel like I'm Dad saying, it hurts even more because I see in you what I don't like bout myself). You know, kind of like that. It makes me feel even worse about my short temper, controllingattitude, slow to forgive kind of ways. There is no room for pride even if you are right, even if you have been wronged. There is only enough time and room for being Christ-like. Investing in any other emotion is just a waste of time. Sometimes before I go to bed I try to read Jesus the Christ, it's so good but kind of deep sometimes. I wish I had taken time to try to read it before and study it a little more but maybe I wouldn't have appreciated it quite as much before. I'm reading about an interesting concept. Talmage is talking about the miracles of Christ right now and in relation to science. Sometimes I find myself confused about faith, about priesthood and miracles etc. and I don't worry too much about it realizing my brain just can't grasp it but the one thing that really concernedme was that I have a strong testimony of the fact that God works by natural means. I eventually realized that idea was going against some other aspects like faith that I don't understand. Talmage explains it so simply I feel ridiculous for not having put it together myself that of course Christ turning Water to Wine was still within natural law, but it's a higher natural law than our science understands, than our brains grasp, but it's still natural. He explains a similar thing with the conception of Christ being part of God's higher law -- and necessary of course for him to obtain the characteristics to die from his mortal mother and the characteristics to live from his immortal father. So many more of Mary and Christ's actions from the bible, the small stories we have make sense the way he explains them... about Mary's slow realization and reminders that she was raising the Son of God and Christ's growing line upon line as anyone else and coming to understand his own divine role and what he must do to follow his Father's will... his time in the wilderness alone to prepare for this fully and even his explanationof the temptations Christ overcame and what that all means. Remembering his mortal social life and understanding it better helps to realize the true perfection within him but the choice to be that way and what things are regular aspects of life that we will all, including Christ, experience. I can't really explain that but I feel close all the time to Him, not making less of who He is but it makes Him to be even more to realize how human he was, what he submitted Himself to as the rest of us did and we all must slowly grow in stature and develop understanding of who we are and what mission we need to fulfill... then submit to doing it and do all we must to make sure it happens. Anyway, this keyboard is really terribly difficult to type on I think I will not come back to this store again :) You should try reading Jesus the Christ if you have not and enjoy all the other things you are doing. I will hopefully send a letter tomorrow with pictures that I am printing right now. Not very many and they seem to be all about food here :) But, they are pictures :) In the middle of my sickness last week we were walking home and someone was playing music -- someone is always playing music loudly here, and footloose came on. My reaction was impressively fast, the first couple of chords only had played but I knew what it was and I was crying because I miss you all. But, I don't think about it unless taken off guard :) haha. I hope your play goes well, "sayang, I will miss it!" The word sayang means waste, kind of :) haha it's all a “kind of” when I try to translate. Thanks for everything. Love from me -- oh and here I have no choice if someone wants to walk down the street (meaning one of the women from relief society) and hold my hand the whole time or rub my back as we sit there or play with my hair. That's what happens so I think I will suddenly become a more touchy person when I come home because I just have to be used to it here. Britney

July 21st

Hey Dad...sorry about the lack of information. It's true, last week there was just the one email from you. If you wait until Sunday night you might miss me because it's always different when we check here Monday. Tomorrow is Zone conference so hopefully I will be getting real mail again :) That will make it easier to write back to all of you. I really do apologize my letters this last transfer so far haven't been so fabulous but it's been a kind of hard transfer for me and it's hard to come up with things to write all the time. I guess that's how life goes, up and down and you take it all the best you can even if you're on a down. Being transferred quickly was difficult and not normal but we had some problems that made it necessary, my new companion doesn't know much English and had a bad experience with her other American companions, and this area is also struggling so just some different things have been my "refiners fire" experience lately. Sounds fun to live in and remodel a cabin. I'm kind of confused...what does the missionary do? We report to the high council in our home wards or were you just talking about the talk they'll have you give in sacrament meeting? I finally finished my letter to President Griffin and have the address so I will be sending that as soon as we get back from Zone conference. Where would you keep a horse if you did decide that? Maybe I just don't remember the back yard but it didn't really seem like there was a place for a horse? Just a swamp right? So, I was thinking about what kind of work everyone does in this area. There are three male leaders, bishop, ward mission leader and another who all sew for a living.They make uniforms (everyone who attends school at any level here wears a uniform) or they sew special pants for men...the Elders all love them, they have Filipino style dress pants of every color and pant width. My umbrella (yes that really expensive one) had some issues and died but we took it to this man who sits on the side of the road all day and fixes umbrellas...and in about two minutes he had fixed it for only 5 pesos. A few days later it died again for a different reason and I was rather annoyed, it topped off a really good day :) haha, it got rusted or something I don't know but now it's snapped and I'm just going to buy another one. The thing was, that man makes a living all day fixing umbrellas. Umbrella's are very important to people here, rain and shine because they hate the sun, they don't want to be dark...they really want to be white, they advertise that all their soap and lotions will make you white that will get rid of melanin etc. andthus everyone has an umbrella and there is a man who makes a living fixing them for very cheap. I figured that i wouldn't have even known where to go to get it fixed in America and it would have been expensive so i would have bought a new one straight off! Lots of people have little shops in front of their house where they sell personal single use size of everything...shampoo, toothpaste, detergent etc. and also little bags of crackers and soda, very popular here. There are ladies that sit and make pancakes in the morning and wrap them in banana leaves and sell them for 5 pesos each and others who fry banana's in sugar etc. and sell those on a stick. If you walk by people and they are eating they will announce it to you, "kain na" which means eating now, kind of. Kain is the root for the word pagkain which is food and the root for kumain or kinain etc. which are verb forms, eating, ate, will eat etc. Na means a lot of things and in this case refers to how it's happening now but wasn't before and won't be again once they're done. A greeting for all of them is to ask where you came from or where you are going, they don't always expect an answer or at least not a specific one. I told you that they graduate really early right? High school is over around 15 or 16 years old and many people graduate from college by 19 or earlier if they can afford it. Being able to afford it is very important because they all seem to understand thatgetting an education will be their way to get a job and make money and live a better life than their family did, but it's all a big struggle here -- I don't think I ever appreciated my education like I should have though. Time is nearly up so I'm going to switch over to Mom's email now, love you. Brit